Who's In Control?

The other day, Ryan and I had gotten to my doctor's appointment a little bit early (if you know me, you know that I am a freak about not getting to the doctor's late!) I was feeling anxious and impatient. I was wanting to know exactly when Anna will be born and all of the circumstances that will surround it. Of course I don't know that, and neither does my doctor. As I was sitting in the car anxiously drumming my fingers on the dashboard, Ryan suggested I read a book as he was doing. I gave him some snide remark about being to anxious to read and all I had was my book from Sunday School anyway. I realized though that my sighs were starting to drive him batty, so I picked up my book. The first thing I read really convicted me. It was like the Lord was speaking right to me in that moment. I'll share some of it with you (from the book War of Words, by Paul Tripp).
"There is no situation we will ever encounter that is not ruled by Christ. Our lives are not out of control. Christ carefully administers them for our benefit and his glory. . . Christ right now, at this moment, is ruling all things for our particular benefit as his children. I may not always see his hand and I won't always recognize the good he is doing, but he is active and ruling all the same."

Peace Like a River

I haven't had a very good day. Nothing particularly bad happened, but I felt tired, impatient, and crabby all day. As the day progressed I felt more and more anxious and restless. I felt like I needed a break. When Ryan's counseling appointment cancelled, I was glad, this meant that he could play with Rylie so I could have some time to myself. I thought that might make me feel better. I perused a magazine, that didn't make me feel better. I figured if I did the dishes, I would feel good because I was doing something constructive and I wouldn't have them hanging over my head. Since that didn't work, I moved on the reorganizing and cleaning the medicine cabinet. I called my parents and told them I needed a break and asked if I could send Rylie over there tomorrow. They said "of course", then I felt guilty that I was sending my child somewhere else so I could have some rest. I had a good cry and heard reassuring words from my parents. They assured me that I wasn't being a bad Mommy or wasn't loving my girl just because she would be spending the day with her Grandparents. That made me feel some what better, but still had that moody feeling. I decided maybe I just needed some time with the Lord. I spent some time in prayer, then read the Word. It washed over me like a cool balm. Finally, this is what my soul needed! He promises us peace, but only if we go to Him. Of course I wasn't finding peace in all those other things I was doing. I needed to go to Him and confess my sinful attitudes and spend time in His presence. I also read this from the Valley of Vision:
"May his comforts cheer me in my sorrows, his strength sustain me in my trials, his blessings revive me in my weariness, his presence render me a fruitful tree of holiness, his might establish me in peace and joy, his incitements make me ceaseless in prayer, his animation kindle in me undying devotion. Send him as the searcher of my heart, to show me more of my corruptions and helplessness that I may flee to thee, cling to thee, rest on thee, as the beginning and end of my salvation."