Wednesday, July 28, 2010
These are the things I scored for free using my coupons at Walmart yesterday! I also got several other things for reduced prices.
Albertsons doublers are coming this Sunday! Look in your Sunday paper for the Albertsons insert. Lots of times you can get the insert at Albertsons at customer service too. Here's one example of something that I'm planning on getting for free, Prego Pasta Sauce is on sale for .99, and there is a printable coupon here, for $1 off of 2. Double that and you get 2 free jars of pasta sauce! You should be able to hit the back button and print off 2 of these coupons, making 4 free jars of pasta sauce!
Also, Shutterfly is offering 3 free photo cards right now, you do have to pay shipping, which is .99. Still, .33 a personalized photo card (with envelope) is a great deal! Use the coupon code: SUMMERCARDS.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Preparation for parenthood...
It's not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.
1. Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a pillowcase filled with beans down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for paternity, go to the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time.
2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it -- it'll be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
3. To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5 pm to 10 pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious noise) playing loudly. At 10 pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1 am. Put the alarm on for 3 am. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2 am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45 am. Get up again at 3 am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4 am. Put the alarm on for 5 am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, first smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds, then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a bag made out of loose mesh. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this: all morning.
6. Take an egg carton, using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Last, take a milk carton, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Pops and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations! You have just qualified for a place on the play group committee.
7. Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.
8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a preschool child -- a fully-grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old baby.
12. Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
When you find yourself singing "I Love You" at work, you finally qualify as a parent. (Thanks Kristin!)
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The X-ray came back negative for a fracture, thankfully. We went back to the doctor's office where Rylie got two stitches. The final verdict was a sprained toe, contusion, and stitches. She has to be non weight bearing for the next couple of days and can't play Tball for the next 2 weeks. As you can tell from this picture, she's not too happy about the whole thing.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The kids have no clue what they are supposed to be doing yet, which makes it so fun. The kids all stand in a semi circle behind the pitchers mound and then all dive for the ball and tackle each other for it. Some of the kids would bat and then, instead of running to first base, would run after their ball to try to get it themselves.
The rule is that they play for 50 minutes or 6 innings which ever comes first, today we got through 1 1/2 innings! I don't know if we'll ever see 6!
We were so thankful that she got on the same team as her friend Ryan, from church and her cousins Abby and Luke (who were out of town for this game). This should be a fun season!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The first act of calling is by thy command in thy Word,
Come unto me, return to me;
The second is to let in light,
so that I see that I am called particularly,
and perceive the sweetness of the command
as well as its truth,
in regard to they great love of the sinner,
by inviting him to come, though vile,
in regard to the end of the command,
which is fellowship with thee, in regard to thy promise in the gospel,
which is all of grace.
I need not search to see if I am elect, or loved,
for if I turn thou wilt come to me;
Christ has promised me fellowship if I take him,
and the Spirit will pour himself out on me,
abolishing sin and punishment,
assuring me of strength to persevere.
It is thy pleasure to help all that pray for grace,
and come to thee for it.
When my heart is unsavoury with sin, sorrow,
only thy free grace can help me act
with deep abasement under a sense
Let me lament for forgetting daily to come to thee,
and cleanse me from the deceit of bringing my heart to a duty
because the act pleased me or appealed to reason.
Grant that I may be salted with suffering,
with every exactment tempered to my soul,
every rod excellently fitted to my back,
to chastise, humble, break me.
Let me not overlook the hand that holds the rod,
as thou didst not let me forget the rod that fell
and drew me to Him."
(Valley of Vision, pg. 90-91)